Are you seeing it (or sniffing it) too?
We all hope we make sound decisions and exercise good judgement. But there’s a difference between having [good] judgement and being judgemental.
I’m not suggesting that I’m not judgemental – it is perhaps a universal human trait. The problems start when we express our judginess and give unwanted advice and opinions. It makes others feel judged – and that feels lousy.
When we say, ‘you should’ or ‘they should’.
When we wrong-spot the actions of others or nit-pick out loud.
When we think we know better.
A trick that helps me hold my tongue is to ask myself the three questions at the heart of Socrates’ Triple-Filter Test*:
· Is it true?
· Is it good?
· Is it useful?
And if what I want to say is not all three for the receiver, it’s probably a good idea to keep it inside.
* There is no evidence this story was something Socrates really said. I don’t care. I like the intent!