𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐚𝐢𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐞.
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐧𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰.
𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬, 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐭.
I teach 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐈𝐭 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 to help people take their writing from clunky to compelling.
But we all get it wrong sometimes, and the results can be really funny.
These are examples of malaphors.
Coined in 1976 by Lawrence Harrison in The Washington Post article ‘Searching for Malaphors’, a malaphor is a mash-up of aphorisms, idioms or cliches.
It’s an error in which two sayings are merged, producing an often ridiculous and embarrassing result.
You can tell what the writers meant.
‘You’ve hit the nail right on the head’ is incorrectly blended with ‘on the nose’.
‘That’s a hard nut to swallow’ blends ‘a hard nut to crack’ and ‘hard to swallow’.
‘You’ve opened a can of worms’ is mixed with ‘you’ve made your bed, now lie in it’.
Individually they’re fine, but together they’re hilarious.
And all may have been avoided if the writers had asked someone to look over their work. A second set of eyes always helps!
Richard Lederer, the author of Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon the English Language, has compiled a list of gems. You can find plenty of contemporary examples of malaphors.
My favourites are: ‘It’s time to swallow the bullet’. ‘It’s as easy as falling off a piece of cake’. ‘And let dead dogs sleep’.
What are the best ones you’ve heard?
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